Rocio

Last Tuesday, I met someone who lost her husband too to cardiac arrest. Rocio lost Tomi April last year and she was left to tend to her two teenage daughters. As if that wasn't enough, eight days before Rocio lost Tomi, she lost her mother to cancer.

I am floored by the two tragedies Rocio was faced with last year. How could she have survived such devastating loss one after the other? 

She tells me it wasn't easy. In fact, she could hardly take care of herself. She went through all the phases of grief -- twice over! She questioned her faith and she questioned even more how her God could've allowed such tragedy to befall her. 

This was only April last year. Today, Rocio has recovered from her grief. She is positive and optimistic of what life has to offer her. She is moving to Australia to start a new life and she is so excited about the endless possibilities that are now open to her and her daughters. She is happy once again. 

I am in awe of her! I want to be her this time next year!!! 

She tells that I shouldn't rush things. I need to go through this pain, accept it, then move on from it. But of course, all this takes time. 

Rocio told me that I need to keep the faith. I need to believe that I will be in a better place. I shouldn't lose hope. 

These are the words I hang on to. I believe I will be better. I believe God has plans for me. I believe I can get through this. I believe. 

Thank you Lord for introducing me to Rocio. I believe everything happens for a reason. No coincidences. Right Maja? 

13

(Photo here was taken during our honeymoon in May 2000. We spent 7 glorious days discovering Kauai, the Big Island and Oahu. What great memories we made!)

It should've been our 13th wedding anniversary today. I should be waking up beside Reymond and planting a big kiss on him and giving him a tight hug (that's if he hadn't escaped yet to sneak in a bike ride or a long run!). We should be celebrating with our children and our extended family. I shouldn't be grieving for you, Darling. I'm still having such a hard time accepting my fate.

I met Reymond in 1996 at the birthday party of my good friend VP. He was with his girlfriend then and I was going out with someone else. There was no initial attraction. In fact, the only time he paid attention to me was when he found out I was a law student. Other than that, no sparks flew and we went about our lives after that fateful day.

Fast forward to 1998. I was still going out with someone but he was already single after his seven year relationship ended. He asked VP and her boyfriend Jingo (now hubby!) if he could go out with me. Both refused but for those who know Reymond, he remained undeterred. He started calling me, making excuses to see me and was making himself very visible at parties and functions of our mutual friends. I was very flattered by all the attention but I still wasn't sure about this man who was not bothered at all by the fact that I was in a relationship. In fact, he offered me marriage without even asking me to be his girlfriend! His explanation was since I already had a boyfriend, I probably didn't need another one. He said he was offering me marriage because he says my boyfriend then didn't have the guts to offer me that. The nerve, right? All my family and friends said he was psycho (haha!) but why wasn't I running away? Why was I still entertaining him?

Come mid 1999, it was just too difficult to resist this man's charm. I fell fast and hard and in one short year, I broke up with my then boyfriend, got together with him, got engaged and then got married. Not the most ideal beginning and a lot of people were wary of my decision but I persisted. I had no regrets then and I still believe that despite everything that has happened, marrying him was the best decision I ever made.

Mom always wondered why Reymond was in such a hurry. In a hurry to marry me, in a hurry to do so many things at one time, in a hurry to fix things .... just generally, in a hurry!

Now we understand. His time here with us was so short. He needed to do so many things so that he could fulfill his life's purpose and mission before his death. 

As I said, I still have a hard time accepting and grasping things but I continue to pray for God's healing hand. 

Happy Anniversary, my Love. You are no longer with me now but I continue to pray for our family. Please watch over me and the girls. I miss you so much, especially today. I love you, Darling. 

Too much of a coincidence ...

Last Monday evening, I was at the wake of our family friend. Lola Maria Dumlao is not related to us by blood but she, her husband Lolo Rey and my paternal grandparents have been friends since the 1930s and that friendship has spanned four generations already.

I met her grandson whose name happened to be Reymond. Same spelling! He also had a shaved head and was he was asking me about the nearest pool he could swim at the next day. Apparently, Reymond the Grandson is preparing for his first Ironman 70.3 race at Honu, Big Island in Hawaii this coming June 1.

Meeting him and hearing all this made me smile. Maybe my Reymond is telling me that despite death, life goes on. We should all find a way to move forward. Easier said than done but I believe anything is possible.

My good friend Maja says there is no such thing as a coincidence. I tend to agree. :)

NOTE: The next evening, I chance upon our old trusty Pajero in an obscure area in Makati and it even had a bike rack attached to it. Oh Reymond, are you afraid I will forget you? That is not possible, my Darling.You are in my heart always and forever.

What was it that Maja said again? :)