It's been almost a month since my last entry. I keep trying to figure out why I don't update my blog that often. Is it for lack of interest? Lack of interesting topics? Or just plain lack of energy (i.e. tamad)? It's definitely not because I think of Reymond any less than I used to. He is in my thoughts constantly. When I wake up in the morning, I always secretly wish it was the morning of March 10. I would pretend to be sick and we wouldn't have gone to that race. He would still be with me. Ganun ba yon? I don't know. I'll never know.
Three weeks ago, the kids and I were in Boracay. It was a happy time for the girls. They were oblivious to the constant panic attacks I was having just being there.
Boracay is special to me and Reymond. We visited the island numerous times during our 13-year marriage. It was a happy place for us. Being there made me feel oh so miserable. It was almost unbearable.
Thankfully though, the girls were there to make sure I smiled. How lucky I am to have these precious reminders of Reymond. I don't think I would survive without them. They keep me sane.
Just last week, I brought the girls to Dubai for their semestral break. Now that's a different story!
Reymond and I had never been to Dubai together. I went there once in 2007. I even have extensive blog posts on my trip there (click on Blog Archives - November 2007) and so Dubai was a memory all my own. I was so happy to be there with the kids. They were just as happy and we made great new memories there. Just the three of us.
So I guess that's the reason I've been blogging less. I've been living life. Trying to make the most out of the situation I find myself in. Trying to make a new life for me and the girls. Trying to move on for the sake of the girls.
I'll probably blog even less but it doesn't change how I feel. I am still in a daze. Still wandering through life but trying my best to keep my head above water, my feet on the ground. All for the sake of my children.
