In Memoriam

Good Samaritans Joy, Cai and Betsy visited the spot where Reymond collapsed during his last race. They were in Subic last weekend for the Subic International Triathlon. It's the next race to be held in Subic since Reymond's accident last March. 

I promised myself that I would not look at any pictures or updates on the race last weekend because it just took too much from me. Reymond was supposed to join the race last weekend and because it was held in Subic, it really just pushed all the wrong buttons in my system. 

But after seeing this picture, my heart melted. I am so deeply moved by their gesture of love and respect for Reymond. May God bless their soul and their spirit. I am so touched. Happiest tears.

I was telling my friend Yvonne, how can I ignore Subic? How can I even avoid it? My whole life is in Subic. It's just too difficult to detach myself from the place, my tri friends and the sport itself. I just prayed for strength and grace and again, God was generous. 

I love you, Reymond. I miss you everyday. It will never be okay but today is always better than yesterday. 

Be Inspired

Who You Are

I'm so inspired by this song performed by American Idol Contestant Angie Miller. Please click on link above.

The original was sung by Jessie J.

The song took the words right out of my mouth ...

Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing Everybody's bruising Just be true to who you are

California Dreamin'

I dreamt about Reymond for the first time. We were in LA for a race ( as usual). We stayed in a really nice hotel downtown. We stayed in one suite with our friends Joy and Cai. Right before the race, he did some activity that you're suspended in air, pulling on a rope to get from one end to the other. It started from a cliff and ended on the balcony outside our suite. My girlfriend Maja was with him! She finished it with ease but Reymond had a hard time. He had bruises and cuts all over his hands.

On our way to the race, we were told that a racer died. The convoy of the hearse and their relatives even passed us.

I was begging Reymond not to race but he just smiled and said "I have to."

He was wearing his yellow cab biking jersey during that activity suspended in air and on the way to the race.

I was not sad. Maybe more accepting of what happened. I felt he was trying to put me at ease. Telling me I could not have done anything. It was going to happen no matter what.

Run for Reymond

Reymond's brothers in law and tri friends came up with the idea of having a Run to honor him on the 40th day after his death. As devout Catholics, this day is big for us and we usually commemorate this by having a mass and serving food after. In this case, we gathered Reymond's closest tri, run and bike friends and held a morning run serving breakfast afterwards.

In the pic below, baller IDs in Bright Yellow ( he loved bright, neon colors! ) were given out to all the runners. IRONMON is a term of endearment given to him since his nickname is Mon ( only to his friends -- I still call him Reymond ) and his obsession was to race IronMan races. 

My youngest brother Paolo led us in prayer to start the event. Seen here are members of the Team Bike King, Clear Sabak, Polo Tri, ANST and representatives of Speedo. On the far left is Coach Anthony Lozada. Reymond did not know how to swim in 2009. He couldn't even finish a 25m lap without standing up in the middle of the pool to spit out all the water he swallowed. Coach taught him how to swim and I think he did a pretty good job for someone who couldn't swim at all when he attempted his first triathlon in 2009. Coach also trained me and my brother Dondi when we did our Ironman swim relay events in 2010 and 2011 respectively. Lozada Loyalists kami! Haha! Even if we swim with different coaches now, Anthony will always have a special place in our hearts.

We had about 100 runners on the road. It was a proud moment for me. I was so touched by all these people who gathered for Reymond on an early Saturday morning just to show support for me and the girls. Truly heartwarming.

The church on the foreground is the St. James Parish inside Ayala Alabang. Reymond's ashes are kept in a crypt inside the Church. It was so fitting that the end of the Run passed through this Church. In fact, some of the runners even visited his crypt before ending their run. 

Our Army Navy South Tri Team all wore shirts in honor of Reymond. I'm so proud to be part of such a great team. They are family to me and I will forever be grateful to them for their support, their friendship and their love. 

I smiled so much yesterday. As you can see, I was picture crazy! It was such a joyous event and I just felt so much love for Reymond. How could I not smile? : ) 

Beloved Boston

Reymond lived in Boston for three months last 2010. I followed him there for two weeks and those were the best two weeks of our life. We lived like newlyweds and we discovered every part of that city. We fell in love with Boston. In fact, we fell in love all over again there. We swore we would one day go back to bring our girls there. We also dreamed of one day running in the historic Boston Marathon. Impossible to qualify but hey, everyone is free to dream.

This morning, I woke up to the most horrific news. Two bombs exploded as the Boston Marathon was ongoing. How can this tragedy be allowed to happen?!? So senseless, so heart wrenching, so impossibly hard to understand. 

My heart goes out to the people of Boston, the runners, the spectators, the medics and the police who put their own lives at risk and to everyone who is in Boston right now. I pray for your safety and I pray for the survival of those hurt by this terrible, terrible incident.

A special prayer goes out to the family of Martin Richard, the 8-year old boy who died at this event. Martin was running towards his father Bill who was about to finish the race when the bomb went off. His mother is also fighting for her life as she suffered a brain injury while his little sister lost her leg. Martin's father is physically unscathed but this event will forever scar this family. I pray for physical and emotional healing for this family. Please Lord, help this family survive this tragedy. 

We Believe

Reymond's good friend and teammate made this video for him and it was shown during the 9th day of his novena (Please click on title post above).

What a moving tribute to my husband which I will cherish forever.

Thank you, Mel and Liza. Thank you.

Where It Happened

A friend was in Subic yesterday and so I asked her to take a picture of the spot where Reymond collapsed.

I never actually saw it but I always had a vague idea of where it happened. 

I've been meaning to go back to Subic and visit the place. Maybe one day soon I'll gather enough strength to head back. Maybe. 

Month-stone

Yesterday was a month since Reymond passed away. I survived the awful, dreadful day.

Feel bad though that I had to back out of a party a friend of mine threw for her daughters and another friend's birthday dinner. I had no strength to go out and put up a happy face. 

But I feel better today. I hope it gets better as the days go by.

How are you today, Reymond? Getting ready for a long run tom.? The girls finally allowed me to exercise ... in June!!! Funny girls.

In the meantime, I am beginning to get sluggish and lazy. I really hope to get back into shape soon. 

When I thought about you today, I actually smiled. I'm so tired of crying. I hope there will come a point in time when I will always smile and never have to cry when I think of you.

Gone Too Soon ... Again

Yesterday, my old friend Theresa lost her battle with cancer. She was 40 years old. Same age as me. She leaves behind a husband and two young children.

It pains me to see another one die at such a young age. It pains me as well that she left behind a family that will need a lifetime to get over such a devastating loss.

You can't help but question why. Why. The answers may never come. I will forever wonder why.

Dear Theresa, you are no longer in pain. We may have lost you but you will remain an inspiration to those you left behind.

Please watch over us.

If you ever see Reymond, give him a hug and a kiss from me.

Thank You, Rick Reyes and Princess Galura

I had two minor victories (excuse the term -- can't think of a better one) today.

I wrote to two organizations yesterday requesting for a refund of the race registration fee Reymond paid for races he intended to join this year. 

The first is the Subic Internation Triathlon to be held this April 28, 2013. Mr. Rick Reyes of the Triathlon Association of the Philippines wrote me back almost instantly and told me that there would be no problem. In fact, the money will be delivered to me today. My request was acted upon swiftly and without much documents or protocol required.

This first picture on the left is Reymond finishing SUBIT last year. So so proud of him.

The second letter I wrote to is to Ms. Princess Galura of Sunrise Events who will be handling the Ironman 70.3 Race to be held in Mactan, Cebu on August 4, 2013. Not only was her reply faster than Mr. Reyes, she even made the dollar deposit almost simultaneous to her email response. In fact, the money is already in my account. All in less than a day. She also did not require any documents nor was any unnecessary protocol demanded. 

The second picture on the left shows Reymond finishing his second 70.3! His first was in Camsur in 2011 and the second was in Cebu in 2012. I am and will always be in awe of my husband. Reymond will forever be my Strong Ironman!

Thank you again to these two individuals who acted so swiftly considering loss of money is involved in both transactions.  

I mean really, they were very very sensitive to my plight which is more than I can say about the organizers and sponsors of the last race Reymond joined. The way Unilab Activehealth and Bike King handled my situation at Tri United 1 has left much to be desired. I don't want to sound bitter and angry and so I will just stop there. But really, you people should take sensitivity lessons because you really handled that situation poorly.

Bali High

The last date trip Reymond and I took was in Bali, Indonesia last January 2013. 

We love our children so much and we take them everywhere BUT Reymond and I always made sure that we had time for one another. This is the reason we take date trips  at least once a year. I think it's very important for couples to have alone time. I feel it's necessary for a good and healthy marriage.

I was so hesitant to take this particular trip because we were supposed to build our house this year. I'm so glad Reymond persisted (as usual!) and he found a way to convince me to go. He always does!

In this picture, he's looking up to the heavens. He was probably checking out their race routes and accommodations.

What are you up to today?