Ironman 70.3 Cebu - 2013 edition

Everybody and Anybody I know from the Tri Community is Cebu bound this weekend -- everyone except me.

Reymond was supposed to do the individual event while I was supposed to do the bike relay. Reymond was upset that I was once again doing a relay event albeit a different discipline from the past two relays. I've already completed the 1.9k swim (2010) and the 21k run (2012). It would've been a trifecta for me! Done all the disciplines -- I just haven't done it all together. It was Reymond's dream to have me do the individual. I think about it sometimes but not too often. Haha! There was already one serious triathlete in the family and so I didn't think of getting too serious about the sport. With Reymond's death, everyone around me NOT from the triathlon world is deftly afraid of me joining any races, more so a 70.3 event. Haaaaay. I don't know what the future holds and I really can't tell if I really will have the guts to compete in the individual event anytime soon. Just like Reymond, that remains a dream for me. But imagine, despite what happened to Reymond, I still think about it. Isn't that weird??!! 

In the meantime, this weekend will prove quite stressful for me. A number of Reymond's friends and our close friends will be competing. My brothers also formed a relay team and they will be in Cebu this weekend. Stresssssss.

I've already commissioned my girlfriend Maja to get me drunk on Saturday and make sure I wake up anytime after noon on Sunday. Otherwise, I will be a wreck. Let's wish her luck!!!

Back to Basics

I swam today. It was the first time for me to be back in the water after Reymond. It was so liberating. 2,000 meters and it didn't feel like I was absent for 5 months. Yes, sigh. By August 10, it would've been five months already.

Swimming is actually my first love. When I was younger, I would swim everyday. I would join inter-club and age-group competitions. The water was my second home. But when I developed skin problems, I quit cold turkey. At 14, my skin was more important than swimming. Especially to the boys. LOL. 

Fast forward to 2009. Reymond had already gotten me into cycling which he started doing in 2005. From cycling, he wanted to progress to triathlon. Since he knew I was a swimmer, it was easy to convince me. I just had to learn how to run. He however only knew how to float. He had to swim from scratch! In October of that year, he willed himself to finish the NAGT Speedo Tri despite getting out of the water near last. It was both our first tri. 

By 2010, he was already thinking of Ironman in Camsur but was hesitant about the swim. I was able to convince him na relay muna. "Ok, but who's gonna swim? Hon, will you do it for me?" Sigh. Those of you who know me -- you know I could not refuse Mr. Cruz. So I swam, Reymond biked and my baby brother ran. Thus began his love affair with Ironman. Reymond and my baby brother went on to conquer the individual events in 2011 and 2012 while I was happy simply doing relays and training with him. 

His last race was actually only my second individual triathlon. The first being the pool tri in 2009. All relays in between! TU1 in Subic was my first open water individual tri. Reymond was so excited and anxious. He would've been proud of my finish. 

But I digress. This was supposed to be a swimming post! So yes, close to five months after Reymond's death, I'm back in the water again. Scary but it just feels so right. I feel close to Reymond in the water. It keeps his memory alive. Is that such a bad thing? 

I've recently registered for an open water swim race taking place this September. Haven't told my family and friends. Only my brothers and teammates. Hmmmm. How to tell my daughters. I pray they will understand the need for me to train, to still race despite Reymond's death. 

Reymond, how do I tell the girls? Pls give me strength. 

Mercury Retrograde

When I explained to my girlfriend Mandy all my frustrations yesterday, she mentioned Mercury Retrograde. Had to google this term and when I read about it, Mandy was indeed accurate in her description. When the Planet Mercury is in retrograde (a motion that makes it appear to be going backward), there’s usually much confusion. People forget little things. Delays and frustrations abound. 

It all started with me calling Shangri-la Mactan to cancel the reservation we had for the Ironman Weekend. The Reservations Officer very innocently inquired why I would be canceling such a precious commodity for the weekend and I simply answered that my husband won't be competing anymore. 

This incident led to a whole afternoon of tears. Uncontrollable. Everytime I would think it was over, it just started flowing again. By 6pm that day, the tears mercifully stopped and I was able to go home, have dinner with Alessi, have my one drink and relax by having a massage.

(Photo by Gerrick Suarez)

When I checked Facebook and Instagram, I noticed that my teammate posted a picture of our new uniform. I was giddy! My teammates decided to put a tribute to Reymond by placing his name on the upper right side of the uniform. I couldn't wait to get my hands on the uni! That was until Yvonne texted me otherwise. 

She very carefully explained to me that the suppliers made a mistake and misspelled Reymond's name as REYMUND. 

I know my teammates. They are the most detail oriented people I've seen. They could not have made a mistake on Reymond's spelling. It had to be the supplier -- someone I have no control over. Besides, Reymond is not a sponsor. His name was placed there merely as a tribute to a fallen teammate. It is actually very minor to most people. It's hardly noticeable and it's very easy to just overlook. 

Except that it matters to me and to me alone. I don't have the right to complain. I can't even say anything except I'm hurt, I'm sad and I'm helpless. 

(Photo by Paolo Valdez)

This is Reymond. This is the man my team is paying tribute to. How I wish I could take all the uniforms back and make them re-do it one by one. But I can't. So I will just put it here.

This is my husband. I hope people will not forget, or misspell or mistake him for anyone other than Reymond. 

I have not stopped crying since noon yesterday. I'm so so tired already. My eyes are almost closing because they are so swollen. Please please make the tears stop. I can only take so much.