I almost didn't make it to this dinner because I was feeling miserable over the unsolicited comment of Reymond's good friend. I wanted to just stay home and cry as I did the whole day when I was told that I kept on going out despite the fact that I am a recent widow. But then I thought, why allow this person and the rest of those insensitive people who have made the exact same comment dictate what I should do with my life? I couldn't allow it and so I went out yet again despite the fact that it could open the floodgates for more unsolicited comments on how much 'fun' I was having.
It turned out to be a great evening spent with old college friends and their partners. This group of people all have their flaws and shortcomings. We all do. They however do not judge how I deal with my new status. We have 3 single moms, a widow (ehem), a single dad and a married couple who, despite having a solid relationship, have their own share of ups and downs. We all have our imperfections but thankfully, we can all find solace and comfort in one another. God really has his ways. He knew I was hurting and so he allowed me to bond with these people on this particular night. He knew I needed to be in the company of people who are not judgmental, not righteous, not critical and who could accept the broken me without hesitation.
Reymond, I know you're watching me from above. I know you see me. I know you are proud of me as I am of you. Please continue to protect me. Make me strong. I need to be strong for our children. There are still many years ahead and I need to prepare myself for the long journey. I hope you will keep me safe and sane. I continue to pray for healing and acceptance. I pray that it comes soon.
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